It’s not always easy knowing what goes on in the head of these mythological creatures we call parents. We don’t really know who they are, yet they have raised us, fed us and loved us. The confusion around their personas become painfully clear when the time comes to buy them gifts. Birthdays, Father’s and Mother’s day, and coming up now – Christmas.
But don’t worry. With this comprehensive personality map of the different kinds of dads, you won’t need another gift guide for Christmas.
When it comes to getting gifts for partners, we tend to accept the fact that it has to be special, perfect even. But our parents have somehow dropped off the radar. Mother might receive a piece of jewelry while dad gets his yearly tie. Personal, it seems, but is it really? One tie out of the many he’s ever received for poor dad? No, what you need is some sort of guide to help you on your quest for the perfect Christmas gift.
Your parents have, after all, been the ones who cared for and protected you while you couldn’t care for and protect yourself. It might not always seem that way, seeing as parents often believe that they know what’s best for you. Even when they don’t. But in the end, it’s easy to forgive them for those moments. So after all those years of them being there for you, rescuing you when you needed a ride home from that party they didn’t want you to go to, or helping you out when you needed to carry that queen size bed up the seven staircases to your first studio apartment, show them that you know them. That you care and appreciate them, with a gift for dad or mom that can save their lives.
As the Swedish Father’s Day is coming up this weekend, this handy gift guide will be dedicated to all the fathers out there. This post will help you find out exactly what type of dad you have.
The Corporate Dad
The Corporate Dad is all about efficiency. Therefore he will hereby be referred to as CD. He’s the one who runs his family like a company. Or, at least tries to. He garners a good amount of respect from his subje- eh, employees. Which is why he needs to have a family who knows who you are beneath the surface. For some reason, he never gets the same kind of respect from his wife and kids. He’s the dad who scheduled your playtime as a toddler, held quarterly meetings to keep up with your partner and just loves any and all situations involving graphs and spreadsheets. Oh those spreadsheets. He couldn’t figure out why they weren’t as almighty to the rest of the family.
For those of you who have a CD you know that his power stems from his, well, power suits, coincidentally. Black, grey, striped. The ritual that takes place morning after morning, when he dons his suits, is his way of putting on the game face. Complete with a tie, handkerchief, tie pin and cufflinks, he is achievement itself. He is never seen in sweats or slacks, and never sports a three-day beard.
Yet, behind all of the piles of spreadsheets and sharp suits, there is this man with sound principles upon which he built everything around him. To the Corporate Dad, his family and even his company, they are all products of his love. That is why he both needs and deserves a personal gift that will remind him of who he is, of the perfect union of surface and depth.
Discrete and stylish, the Black or Stealth Grey Naimakka paracord bracelet will go great with any suit of his. The silver buckle will let him stand out of the corporate crowd, while maintaining his classy and well-kempt look. And he’ll be able to brag to his colleagues about how he can fish with his bracelet.
The Coach Dad
The Coach Dad is quite similar to the Corporate Dad, yet so different. Kind of the two separate sides of a coin. Instead of a company, he manages his family like a football team. Each and every player, eh, family member, has a special role to make the play come together and achieve a win at the end of every day. He’s all about sport metaphors and walking around with a baseball glove to be able to make ball-related puns. That kind of dad.
You will easily recognize the Coach Dad by his outfit, always walking around in a faded college sweater from “the good old days” or his standard coach jacket. You will also notice how he pulls up his sleeves and crosses his arms before he’s about to “lay down the play”, as in say something he’s been mulling over for about the last five minutes. Although this might seem like it’s all about sports, his life is actually all about his “team” – which is his family. He’s never short to dolling out the old wisdom, and it might seem like it’s all about him, but again you know that deep down inside it’s about his family. That’s why it’s important to show him some love, show that you understand him. Not really what he’s talking about, because be honest, half of the time you don’t. But he likes to think that you do, and that right there is what matters.
Sure, he might need some new sneakers, but you know he will keep those old ones until they basically fall off his feet. He would use a sweat band if someone bought it for him, but fortunately no one will. Even though he’s a practical guy, don’t get him anything practical. Get something that show him how much you appreciate his warmth. It’s your turn to care for him, in spirit at least. The Red or Colonial Blue Naimakka paracord bracelet should be his companion, a splash of color yet subtle, a piece of premium jewelry for a dad like him.
The Young Dad
Being the Young Dad is not in any way related to a specific age, as those of you with experience of the Young Dad knows. It is absolutely indisputably 100% a state of mind. He might be 40, he might be 65, but he will still dress like a 22 year old. Or honestly, he will dress in a way that somehow resembles how he thinks a 22 year old dresses. He also doesn’t manage or coach his family in any way. No, to this dad, everyone’s a pal. A friend. A homey. He’s down and hip, square with the square and round with the round. Smooth player.
You can’t really say that he keeps up with the Kardashians, but he definitely tries to. He was the first dad to throw in the occasional smiley after, well, every word in a text message. He knew about twerking way before you ever did (which is a bit weird, I know). He has your partner on speed dial and adds all of your friends on Facebook. He even started a vine account but it never really took off for him. When he’s not socializing with everyone you know, he can be found looking up new styles online. His favorite site is hipdaddy.com, where he really feels that he can relate to the articles about Supernatural’s Jared Padalecki in his fatherhood.
He tries all the right things but he never does get these things quite right. Which is probably a good thing, since you have to admit that he is one of the good looking dads. In the end, you know that his hip, young lifestyle is just a way for him to try to connect to you. Even though he actually has more in common with your ten years younger cousin, or your twenty years older brother in law. And you might even feel that you enjoy his energy and warmth. So get him something that he’s not expecting, but that will nourish his vitality. TheNeon Orange or Neon Yellow Naimakka bracelet would go great with his colorful personality, and you have no idea how hip it will make him feel. Don’t forget to tell him that it can save his life as well. Or that he can tow a car with it. He’ll just tweet that all over his thirteen Twitter friends.
And then we have the Healthy Dad. The overly vigorous and good looking dad. The dad all of your friends kind of stare at no matter their, ahem, orientation. He is the one always out running, carrying around that little pedometer and syncing it with a special app on his phone. Usually around 45 or over, he discovered exercise a bit on the late side in his life. But when he found it, boy did he find it. He’ll urge his family to join him in challenging himself. Always the extra crunches, that weird bean-based meal for dinner that makes everyone just a bit iffy in the tummy, anything to keep everyone clean and in the pink.
The Healthy Dad is not hard to spot. He usually sports runner’s tights and an exercise shirt underneath his work outfit. You know, just in case he has to run somewhere. Like Superman. Where the Healthy Dad would run is however not as clear as when Superman is on the move… just saying. He loves gearing out with the latest health trend gadgets and will just about always race you up the stairs. This guy will try the weirdest smoothie recipes. Smoothie or juice or energy drink or whatever you want to call it. It’s a bit hit and miss but you know you enjoy them most of the time. You know not to tell him that though, or he’ll never shut up about it. They are almost always a part of one of his ongoing cleansing routines, removing harmful toxins from and whatnot, vitamin supplements, even a (in his words) healthy dose of positive thinking. Pun unbearably intended.
Despite his overly perky manners and very questionable food choices, he is quite the lovable dad. All those morning jogs he tried to make you come along for in your teens and you just wanted to sleep, the times he insisted on lending you his bike when all you wanted was a ride to school. He just wanted you to be healthy. He wants you to take care of yourself as he himself wants to take care of you. So to show that you notice his care, notice him, a bracelet that could save his life is right down his alley. Preferably the vibrantKelly Green Naimakka bracelet, as you know… his green smoothies.
If you want to read some more about different kinds of people, check out our guide to which outdoor type you are. Don’t forget to spread some love and share this with all your friends looking for a great gift!